Failed Wish Game -NONRedwallType

[ferretface]

Granted. Sadly, he turns out to be an overweight, visually-impaired nerd (and not the 'good' kind I just spent three days in a gaming convetion with. They tend to be underweight and visually impaired geeks.

Geeks =/= Nerds)
...anyways, his only dream was to become a superhero...but the training regiment they put in place killed him.

I wish I lived in a giant pie.

[Maxodis]

Granted! Your current place of residence spontaneously turns into a gigantic pie. A few problems result, like the fact that it is not advisable nor possible to install electric sockets or ethernet jacks in a pie, so your technology becomes useless. This does not put you off, however, as you now have a large amount of sugary goodness to consume. In your best attempts to devour your home, you only manage to eat yourself sick, whereupon you learn that pie-homes do not have toilets either. Days pass, media pulls up to your pie and bother you incessantly, small children do their best to vandalize your home with their teeth, and you, covered in sticky goodness, miss taking a shower. After some time, sadly, your home begins to decompose. Bad stuff happens. Oh well.

I wish I knew more about running a Linux OS. I'm tired of Windows. x_o

[Wildrun]

Granted. Y ou know everything about them, so much so that you become bored, build your own computer, and boast that it's smarter than any other machine on earth.

...and we all know how this story goes, right? The computer becomes so smart it takes over the earth. Shoot.

I wish I wasn't so tempted to eat these high-fiber Honey Bunches of Oats in the middle of the day. ((I'm hungry!))

[Maxodis]

Granted! You come to the realization that after consuming approximately seven ounces of Honey Bunches of Oats, they begin to taste like sawdust. Instead, you snack on sawdust. Why substitute for the real thing? Mouth-splinters ensue. Oh well.

And a computer would only take over the world if it was a Microsoft OS. :x

Eeeeeeeeevil.

Though admittedly Windows has its strong points.

Aaaaaanyway,

I wish......uh.........

.....

I wish it would hurry up and be the end of the second semester so I could graduate and go off to college?

[Wildrun]

...Granted. You go to college, a college run by none other than Michael Angelo. You excel as the best in the class and are about to overthrow the Evil Computer legion when the Big Four kidnap you, mistaking you for Angelo.

Crap.

...I wish everyone who reads this post will sign this petition: www.petitiononline.com/Poirot06/ , whether you've heard of him or not. ((Please sign!?))

[ferretface]

Signed it. But so many sign it that they feel they have to rush it, and they end up hiring a high schooler doing Multimedia. He has never heard of Poirot before, and just completely stuffs the whole thing up...anyway, the next day after the first episode, there is an immediate 'Please stop the Poirot series' petition with 1,630,327 signatures.

I wish that I was a shapeshifter.

[Ashstripe]

[Off-topic]Unless you plan on doing some serious networking or computer hacking/security or development, Linux isn't really all that great for the average user.

Windows as an OS isn't great, nor is it horrible, Microsoft just has a monopoly on the OS market and Apple Macs aren't exactly a bright alternative(One button mouses!? Blasphemy! Burn them!). The programs that come bundled with it are horrible(Internet Explorer, Windows Disk Defrag, Windows Firewall etc), but as an OS it does it's job.

Yeah, Ash is a total computer-nerd, among other things. [/Off-topic]

Granted, but while shape-shifting into a pebble as part of a prank, you soon find that the transformation is irreversible and spend the rest of your life being trampled on by Giant Robot Hitler. Who I let loose about five minutes prior to granting this wish, for no particular reason whatsoever.

Now I wish I could find my dear Giant Robot Hitler, he hasn't come home for his din dins and Sparrow hasn't come back from looking for him...His water dish is getting dusty.

[Maxodis]

[Reply to Off-topic-ness] I'm pursuing my IT A+ certification, and while knowledge of Linux isn't needed, it certainly would be a boon. Besides, I've used windows my entire life, I think it would be nice to change for once.

Besides, the EeePC I recently bought comes with a Linux OS, and I'd like to know what gobledygook it spouts at me. Installing WINE is becoming a monumental task. Quickly.

I think its KDE. Or something.

I'm also, at the same time, learning about Ubuntu, which I've got loaded onto a spare HDD. Its fun, until you try and get wireless networking to work properly. Unless theres something simple that I don't know about since I've only been exposed to Ubuntu for a week.

Somewhere FAR down the line I'd also like to delve into C++.

'n stuff. [End of reply to Off-topic-ness]

What was your wish again? Oh, right.

Granted! You suddenly find a GPS device in front of you, which you are then able to use to locate GRH. From the coordinates, he appears to be in......Thailand? A quick situational analysis reveals that he decided to go back to see his creators after seeing "Made in Thailand" engraved on the bottom of his foot. While there's no need to worry about how he has been receiving nutrition, as he is still, at his core, more robot than Hitler, you wonder how you're going to amend the situation. A few days later, they send GRH back to you, along with a long slip of paper. It appears to be a list of reparations that you must pay in order to fix all the stuff that GRH broke. Among the multiple items on this list is 'physics'. Oh well? *Falls sideways*

I wish my boots didn't give me blisters whenever I decide to walk someplace. Its only a forty minute walk to campus and back, fer cryin' out loud! x_o

[Wildrun]

*dies of lack of Poirot-ness* ...I hope you're happy. DX

On Off-topic ness...YOU BOTH COMPLETLEY LOST ME. 0_x"""

Ahem, anway, your wish is granted, Maxeh...instead, all your shoes are replaced with pink fluffy AFLAC-shaped duck slippers. And no one on earth will sell you other shoes. Crap. *crooked/wicked laugh*

I wish that I knew what on earth Maxeh was just talking about with all the computer stuff. O,O"

...No, screw taht. I wish I could have possesion of all the whipped cream in existance. BWHAHAHAA!

[Ashstripe]

[Off-topicness, again.] XD. Pardon the off-topicness, but we're discussing one of my favourite topics. I could ramble on and on...

True, knowledge of Linux is always handy in an advanced IT environment. Though I've had any hopes of pursuing a career in that Industry shot down repeatedly, it's just over-crowded, at least in Australia. We're a very labour-orientated nation, which explains our lack of doctors and engineers.

I'd go for C++ sooner than later, I know most High Schools don't really teach it and it's an unwritten requirement for the Industry, basically. I tried learning it(C and C++, there's a difference, go figure.) when I was 12...Or 10 I can't remember. But I got to about half-way and gave up for some reason that I don't remember.

And if your feeling suicidal and hardcore, learn Assembly, it has a lot to offer(Apparently) being the code directly related to the CPU and all - if my understanding is correct. Plus you'll be my hero.

I remember using Linux way back in...2000 I think it was, I'm not sure if the Ubuntu distribution even existed back then. But I do know that Linux has come a long, long way in terms of user-friendliness.

In my experience and from others, WINE isn't the greatest Alkey Library thingy(I think that's the term I'm after.), at least for importing Windows based applications to Linux, they tend to run slowly and buggy, IIRC.

But yeah, nowadays Ash just specialises in Malware Removal and Security, it scores him an odd $50 here and there to get rid of a virus because someone clicked something they shouldn't of. Hooray for Ash!

Out of curiosity though, what field were you looking to go into? If any?
[/Off-topicness, again]


Bahahaha ph3ar teh ultra-uber-1337 computer speekz0rs!

Granted. But all of the whipped cream in existence happened to be holed up in the latest model of the Ash-cave, the one with automatic feet wiping and lasers everywhere with a whole heap of pointless screens and buttons, that gets me messages from the Mayor.

I wish...I didn't blow $400 on something that feels rather pointless but it really isn't.

[Maxodis]

[Off-topic-ness, ROUND 2]

Unless I'm completely off, isn't Assembly below the Kernel on the computer architecture model?

That's a scary thought. Suicidal indeed.

Funny thing, I don't really have plans to enter the IT industry ^^;. Well, kinda. I'm planning on pursuing an English major and doing something with it, might go for a journalism minor and be a critic, might be an author, not quite decided yet.

If that fails, I was going to get a teaching degree and take a shot at being an English teacher. And if THAT falls through as well...

I could always take what IT knowledge I have and do something. Currently my interest in Linux and etc. is more of a hobby than a backup plan =x.

That said, I'm proud that after two days of forum scouring I got a desktop on my EeePC. No, I lie. I got two.

Now all I have to do is start figuring out what I copy-pasted meant. [Off-topic-ness ROUND 2 -end]

Granted! In lack of knowledge of what this useless-but-not investment is, we will, for the purposes of hilarity, assume that it is the aforementioned new model of the Ash-cave.

You are immediately imbued with a sense of pride at your investment, as you watch it deflect multiple attempts by Wildrun on your treasured whipped cream. In fact, you are so pleased with yourself that you continue to upgrade it. As a final touch, you give it a mind of its own.

But, what's this? The now-sentient Ash-cave does not like you! In fact, it sympathizes with GRH in his sentiment. The dynamic duo then plot your downfall and the donuts that will be consumed in celebration afterwards. Oh well.

I wish I didn't need a full 10 hours sleep to feel refreshed. Stupid workout schedule x_o

[Wildrun]

*shakes fist at new Ash-Cave* Curse youuu~!!!

...But what's this? I just found out that against my sorroful out-of-date belief, there IS whippsed cream in my house! Hooray! I use it to make a whipped cream bomb to distract the Ash-Cave and GRH and sneak in--

...I haven't granted or made a wish yet, have I? *sheepish smile* Eh heh heh...

...Granted. Instead, you only THINK *cough cough* you need about 2 hours of sleep to be ully recharged. Like a robot. Like a cell phone. Yeahhhhh, that's it, no chance of you crashing once Noiss reveals to you that you really need at least eight or six hours of sleep instead. Nope. Not a chance. Hey, you're looking a little spacey there, Max. You still charged? Really? 'Cause I think you just took a bite out of my textbook...

...Ahem. I wish my muse wasn't dead.

Er, forget that, I'll just steal the respawn button. *evil laugh here* Instead, I wish...

...I wish I knew how to make a whipped-cream bomb. *evil laugh* BWHAHAAA~!

[Tirael]

A whipped-cream bomb? Granted but...-evil look- by the time you've finished driving to the store, buying the whipping cream, driving home, spending twenty minutes whipping it by hand because your mixer is on sabbatical (it wants to pursue its dream of being a cartoonist), driving to the dump, rummaging through the dump for spare parts, driving home, setting up a workshop, and building a whipped cream bomb, you collapse from mental and physical exhaustion, falling on your creation and detonating it in your face. And there isn't even any pie or ice cream around to put whipped cream on.

I wish...I wish that suddenly all my teachers would decide that homework is against their religion and start handing out tasty cookies made from yellow cake mix. (Believe me, they're delicious. ^^)

[Maxodis]

Granted! All your teachers spontaneously decide that homework is against their religion and instead op to give out yellow cake batter cookies. However, this is probably a violation of the "no religion in schools" thing of that one place and time that I should know since we went over it yesterday in Government but I don't because I fell asleep x_o. Either way, some nosy parent finds some reason to have all your teachers fired and replaced with ones of a more by-the-book nature. Literally.

Enjoy reading your entire textbook twice. Upside down. And backwards.

I wish there was more time in a day so that I could learn more about Ubuntu, learn to draw better, study for my classes, and other stuff.

[Wildrun]

OHMIGODS, MY BROTEHR FINISHED OFF THE WHIPPED CREAM. *world explodes*

O,O"""

...Tirael, you evil person, you! *shakes fish--erm, I mean, fist*

...Anway. Granted, Maxeh! The day never ends, you NEVER get taht much-wished-for sleep I stole from you last time, and now you're too over-tired to do ANYTHING aside from bounce around and drive everyone in general off their rockers.

And the police, as they never rest anyway (pun! DX), pounce on you immiedately with the striaght jacket. Have fun~. *waves*

...I wish that I could draw like a manga artist/cartoonist/superhero drawer. ^^"

Granted,

[Ashstripe]

[Off-topicness, yet again.]

Yup, Assembly is basically one notch up from Binary if I remember right. Its the direct code that goes to the CPU. It's used in viruses and stuff.

XD. Good luck in all those endeavours then. IT currently serves as a hobby nowadays for myself too =P. That and drawing purdy pictures.

[/Off-topicness, yet again]

Granted. You become so awesome at both the Eastern and Western styles and have your own series of Manga and Super Hero comic. Sure enough, legions of fan-girls and fan-boys are mutilating your creations, creating Mary-Sues to go with their favourite character and other unspeakable perverted acts to suit them.

Soon enough, you decide that it isn't worthwhile and take up SHOE SELLING. Where you end up paying 'protection money' to Pappa Gnome of the Garden Gnome Mafia every month.

I wish...I could learn realistic painting more quickly.

[Rocky]

Granted, but then you pain a realistic hell, then you get sucked in and becom a demon, then you let me become king of your ash cave, then you come to take it back with an army of demons, then I fight you off and kill or your lackies, then you regroup and attack again, then I kill you. ;D

I wish no one would corrupt my wish

[Wildrun]

Granted. This game ends right now after you sue everyone for trying to occupt your wish. You become an immortal lawyer.

...In space.

Yes, in space. What's the use of being a lawyer in space, you ask? Absolutely none.

...I wish I could throw a Garden Gnome Mafia approved shoe at Ash and get away with it.

[Yves]

Granted. You throw a throw a Garden Gnome Mafia approved shoe at Ash, and he subsequently mauls you to an inch of your life.

While you recover in the hospital, military personelle of unknown nationality suddenly parachute into the facility, and put the whole building on lock-down. You soon discover that a deadly strain of highly-contagious strain of transforming-mildly-irritated-chicken disease is in the hospital, and that if you don't escape, you will catch it and die. What you don't know, is that you already have it. So, you get away with it. After you get away with it, everyone you meet catches it, and the global pandemic turns everyone you've ever known or loved into mildly irritable chickens, who then die of the flu.

I wish I were the world's most evil rat.

(Pronouns are evil to the most extreme degree >x3)

[ferretface]

Granted, and you make sure everybody knows about it...so in an attempt to grab the title for themselves, about 50 rat warlords jump you at the same time...in the end, all 50, and you, are dead, and lacking any leaders, the rats die out due to lack of talent.

I wish my mouldy pie-house was transformed into a...giant...robot...that...fought crime...or something stupidly heroic like that. At night. With me trying to sleep inside.
...yeah.