Thief & the Cobbler ((OPEN))

[.:Fawn:.]

“Yes Dear.”

“And don't you dare come back here, Roldán Morales, until you've sold at least seven pairs of shoes! No, better yet, make it a pair for each kitten! You got that?”

“Yes Dear.”

“Good, now get going, you great lazybeast, creature will think you aren't happy with your poor 'ol wife if you keep makin' that face!”

“...Yes Dear.”

~*~

Yes Dear, Yes Dear, Yes Dear.

“When did I get so submissive? Oh wait, I've always been like this.” Came a soft groan, the speaker recalling a humiliating conversation with his...oh-so-charming wife.

Gone were the fine threads, expensive possessions and that smile worth more than gold; now he was reduced to a pitiful, grumbling cobbler who was too afraid of his wife to stand up to her. Felix gave another rock a kick, shouldering a heavy sack full of pairs of poorly made shoes, his feline features twisting up into a look of displeasure. To help take his mind off of his depressing situation, Felix tried to recall the wonderfully peculiar accent he'd heard years ago – as well as the strange words he'd heard spoken.

“Let's see...there was...comprende? Something like that? It sounds right at least. Then there was...amigo? Amiga? Gaaaaahhhh.”

A small noise of frustration ended his attempt to recall anymore strange vocabulary, so he moved on to the next interesting thing; the accent.

“Joo yav someting I want, si? A dance, yes?”

Felix chuckled at his own skillful mimicry. Why, if he'd been any other place but here, he'd be dressed to the nines, prepared to slip into the role of the incredibly handsome, incredibly wealthy Marquis Roldán Morales da Firenze. He'd have great crowds of beasts entertained by his charming accent, interesting conversations and generous nature. He'd be beloved of all who crossed his path, earning free drinks at the tavern, songs written in his honor and pretty feline-maidens constantly trying to capture his attention...

Oh if only he could live that way... If only...

If only he wasn't out here trying to sell some boring, badly made shoes to whatever poor beast happened to pass by.
Dropping down onto a rock outside of a dilapidated church, Felix unshouldered the haversack and pulled out a flask full of October ale he'd nicked off of someone last week, taking a sip to wet his dry throat.

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A black and red fox strode happily through Mossflower, humming a lively tune to himself. It was a gorgeous day, halfway between summer and autumn in temperature, but definitely more towards autumn in the colors of the leaves. It seemed nearly every tree was changing color. It was a veritable bonfire of foliage with all the reds, oranges, and yellows.

Joaquin Ignacio de la Cruz adored this season. Everything looked like it was up in flames. Glorious, glorious flames. Inhaling deeply, the fox could still smell that bonfire from last night. That mouse had been by no means easy to catch, but, oh, how he'd burned! Joaquin could not stop smiling. They didn't call him Blaze for nothing!

Donning his prized trench coat with the brass buckles, the fox twirled dramatically, grinning at the joyful noise the metal fastenings made amidst the fireworks display of trees. Chuckling lightly, he resumed his walk, making sure his hidden knives were still easily accessible, just in case. The fox resumed his humming, but then he stopped, flicking an ear in the direction of a noise.

Somebeast was muttering to himself, it sounded like. Walking forward cautiously, the fox discovered the speaker, a lone creature who sat dejectedly upon a boulder, drinking from a flask. Joaquin smiled, licking his chops. Many things looked very good about this situation.

Firstly, the beast did not look like he was armed. Secondly, that flask might contain some kind of alcoholic beverage, and Joaquin had not had a good drink in weeks. Thirdly, the fox had knives and matches. One good bonfire in twenty-four hours was never enough to satisfy him, and he may have just found some new kindling.

Stepping out of the tree cover, the fox put on a disarming smile, approaching the other creature with a friendly wave of his paw. "Ah, un hombre es un gato," he said after discovering the beast was a feral cat. "Hola, gato, I yam Joaquin de la Cruz, but joo call me Blaze, yes?" He bowed formally, sweeping his coat to one side. "Ees pleasure meeting joo, señor. What ees joor name?" He wanted to come across as friendly as possible. All the less chance of the cat suspecting any malice from him.

[.:Fawn:.]

"Ah, un hombre es un gato," he said after discovering the beast was a feral cat. "Hola, gato, I yam Joaquin de la Cruz, but joo call me Blaze, yes?" He bowed formally, sweeping his coat to one side. "Ees pleasure meeting joo, señor. What ees joor name?"

Felix nearly dropped the flask of October Ale, his wides widening with utter shock. This was the fox from before!
"Y-Y-You're f-from the troupe! Of performers! I remember you!" Stunned, Felix's normally quiet, calm voice was reduced to an astonished stammer, the feline leaping up from the rock in excitement. "You had that remarkable accent, and you spoke such strange words." The awe in his tone was audible, the cat making no effort to disguise his obvious respect for the black and red fox standing in front of him.

"I'm Felix Ferroux -- Pleased to meet you, er...señor." He suppressed a giggle, liking how the fox said that word, even if he had no idea what it meant. Felix hardly noticed he'd used the paw holding the flask to shake with, blinking with bewilderment when it dawned on him. Where'd that come from? Oh, right.
"Er...you can have some if you like? Or...Or some shoes." The cat bit his tongue softly, to suppress the urge to add señor at the end of every sentence. Oh why can't you stop squirming and squealing like silly little babe, huh? What's wrong with you, Felix! Snap out of it!
Though his efforts to talk some sense into himself were a failure, the feline was starting to regain some of his composure, large hazel eyes set upon the fox's face, his long, pointed, tufted ears quivering with curiosity.

Of all the creatures he should meet!

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"Y-Y-You're f-from the troupe! Of performers! I remember you!" Stunned, Felix's normally quiet, calm voice was reduced to an astonished stammer, the feline leaping up from the rock in excitement. "You had that remarkable accent, and you spoke such strange words."

Joaquin's expression was confused and slightly imperial at the same time, as an adult might be to an overly-excited kit, which, surprisingly, was the exact situation he found himself in. As the cat continued to exclaim, the fox adjusted his gloves, curious as to why the feline seemed to recognize him.

"Joo know of troupe?" Joaquin asked, tilting his head questioningly. Then it all came back to him. Oh, yes, this was that young cat who'd passed them on the road. It felt like a lifetime ago. "Ah, sí, sí, joo are gato we met een south place. Es notable que debe--eh, eet ees nice we should meet again."

"I'm Felix Ferroux -- Pleased to meet you, er...señor." He suppressed a giggle, liking how the fox said that word, even if he had no idea what it meant.

Joaquin chuckled. Clearly, this cat hadn't forgotten a thing about that brief encounter. His excitement was evident in his erratic movements and wide grin. It amused the fox that he had left such a mark in Felix's memory.

"Er...you can have some if you like? Or...Or some shoes."

Joaquin flicked an ear. Taking the flask with a polite nod, he took a swig, savoring the taste of the wonderful drink. "I yav no need for zapatos--shoes," he replied after his drink. "Gracias, gato, eh, Felix." He handed the half-empty flask back to the feline, having trouble saying the other creature's name.

"Joo travel een dhese woods, señor?" he asked. "Selling zapatos?" Didn't seem like a terribly glamourous lifestyle, but, to each his own. Joaquin preferred burning things, after all. He wasn't allowed to be judgmental.

[.:Fawn:.]

"I yav no need for zapatos--shoes," he replied after his drink. "Gracias, gato, eh, Felix."

"Joo travel een dhese woods, señor?" he asked. "Selling zapatos?" Didn't seem like a terribly glamourous lifestyle, but, to each his own.

The feline flushed beneath his fur, fortunately it was such a handsome shade of ginger that it was difficult to notice. Somehow, the accent made him feel even more inferior to the pyromaniacal fox in front of him, and Felix's whiskers twitched in dismay. "No...I mostly go home and sell them from my shop." He replied with displeasure, but was quick to change the subject. The cat was obviously quite fascinated by the fox, and didn't want to waste any time in getting a few long-awaited questions answered.
"What brings you to Mossflower? Still with the troupe, Blaze?"
The life flickered back into the creature's eyes after what had felt like decades without them, Felix barely able to tear his gaze away from the fox while he put away the flask, pulling out a smaller haversack from the bigger one full of provisions. It wasn't much, just some cold fish, bread, an apple and another flask of October Ale, but it was quite clear the cat would happy to share them. He hadn't had interesting company in so long.

He hadn't spoken to anyone who wasn't snapping at him or calling him 'father', so Blaze's presence came as a well needed relief from his unpleasant home life.

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"No...I mostly go home and sell them from my shop." He replied with displeasure, but was quick to change the subject.

So, he still sold shoes. Again, a rather mundane-seeming profession, but Joaquin kept his thoughts to himself. The cat didn't seem too happy with his life, anyway, so it was probably a sore subject.

"What brings you to Mossflower? Still with the troupe, Blaze?"

Speaking of sore subjects . . . The fox's gaze went hard. His ears flattened against his skull as he turned away, ignoring the food offered him. It'd been years since that horrible night. He hated to think about it even now.

"No," he replied darkly. "I yam lone zorro now. Troupe was . . . asesinado--murdered . . . y también mi esposa--also my wife." He took the second flask of ale and downed another swig. It was clear he didn't want to dwell on the subject for long.

((Sorry it's short.))

[.:Fawn:.]

"No," he replied darkly. "I yam lone zorro now. Troupe was . . . asesinado--murdered . . . y también mi esposa--also my wife."

There was a shocked silence that fell over the orange tom-cat, his hazel eyes wide with horror. It took him several seconds before he could get his thoughts in order, a slow shake of the head his only means to convey just how sorry he was.
Felix swore never to complain of his life ever again. Compared to this fox, his was a perpetual wonderland full of happiness; Felix would rather deal with the annoyance of having a wife he has no feelings for harrassing him every day and more kids than he's ever wanted, instead of dealing with the agony of having lost a wife he loved more than life itself.
Blaze won this round, paws down.

"I'm sorry," the cat spoke softly, the compassion welling up inside of him for this creature he never really knew, but admired so much. "Did you catch the ones who did it?" Asked Felix, unable to change the subject before he found out if justice had been properly served. The scruffy, tufted creature couldn't even begin to imagine what he would do in such a situation... Probably collapse into a sobbing wreck, a shell of himself... Would he have the courage to take revenge? Would he have the guts to kill the someone or something that had killed his wife?
Could he live with that?
So many questions raced through his mind, but the ones he truly wanted answers to, were the ones he couldn't answer, but Blaze could.

(( Oh that's fine, ^^ I know I didn't give you much to respond to in that post.))

[Cross]

"I'm sorry," the cat spoke softly, the compassion welling up inside of him for this creature he never really knew, but admired so much. "Did you catch the ones who did it?"

That brought a small smile to the fox's face, and he nodded, taking another sip of ale. "Sí," he replied. "Eet was un ratón y--and other beasts. Dehy kill my wife y un troupe." He chuckled. "So burned un ratón--mouse." The smile grew a little wider. "Dehy do not call me Blaze for not'ing, eh?"

It may have been the drink, but at least Joaquin wasn't dwelling on the heart-wrenching depression he had felt that night. With his dead wife in his arms . . . Burning had been too good of a death for that mouse, but Joaquin had had few options. At least the mouse was dead.

((Gah, more shortness. Sorry.))

[.:Fawn:.]

"Sí," he replied. "Eet was un ratón y--and other beasts. Dehy kill my wife y un troupe." He chuckled. "So burned un ratón--mouse." The smile grew a little wider. "Dehy do not call me Blaze for not'ing, eh?"

Oh, there, that seemed sensible.
Set the mouse on fire who killed your wife.

Capitol idea.

Because the fox had chuckled, Felix forced a chuckle too, not sure if that was the appropriate response or not. It seemed fair that he should take revenge on the beast who had killed his mate, but Felix wasn't entirely sure if setting them on fire was the proper way to do it. Then again, the mouse had been a murderer, and probably deserved what he got.
Oh this was making his head hurt...

"Have you been staying in Mossflower ever since?" He wondered aloud, furry eyebrows raising. If that was the case, then why hadn't he bumped into him earlier, for pete's sake! "Have you found work?" There was something else Felix was curious about; what sort of skills did this fox have? Besides setting creatures on fire and performing in a troupe, of course.
Hopefully he wasn't reduced to selling badly made shoes like a certain orange-haired cat was. Though, judging by the tone Blaze had used when Felix had first told him of his occupation, it was unlikely.

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(( xD I have an idea...if Blaze is up for it. I'll PM you.))

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"Have you been staying in Mossflower ever since?" He wondered aloud, furry eyebrows raising. If that was the case, then why hadn't he bumped into him earlier, for pete's sake! "Have you found work?"

Joaquin leaned back against a tree, thinking of how to answer. Felix was obviously quite uncertain of how to take the story the fox had told him. Setting other beasts on fire wasn't really a nice thing to do, but at the time it had been fitting, and it still was, in the fox's mind.

"Sí, I yav ben een Moss country since dehn," Joaquin said with a nod. "But I yav no' found work. I, eh," He glanced upwards as he searched for words. "I yav, how you say, got by, yes? I do no' need más dehn food y, eh, roof for when rain come." He waved a paw horizontally back and forth over his tall ears to emphasize this lays point. "Y is no' hard to find beast wiht roof or food een Moss country."

God, how he hated this dialect. Every word felt like throwing up. Why couldn't he have met up with a beast from his homeland? To speak in his native tongue would be utter bliss. The northern dialect was choppy and useless.

[.:Fawn:.]

"Sí, I yav ben een Moss country since dehn," Joaquin said with a nod. "But I yav no' found work. I, eh," He glanced upwards as he searched for words. "I yav, how you say, got by, yes? I do no' need más dehn food y, eh, roof for when rain come." He waved a paw horizontally back and forth over his tall ears to emphasize this lays point. "Y is no' hard to find beast wiht roof or food een Moss country."

Felix looked at him quizzically, the gears and cogs turning in his brain as he listened intently to the fox's words. No work, huh? The ginger cat was starting to get an idea...
"Do you enjoy setting things on fire, Blaze? Would you...be willing to make a living off of it?"
Perhaps...if this fox was willing to team up with him, this could be the start of a beautiful interesting partnership!
An Arsonist and an Expert Thief!

Oh the mayhem they could wreak upon the world.

But Felix wasn't interested so much in mayhem as he was in fabulously expensive things he could pilfer and swipe from some poor beast far wealthier than he. They'd split the bounty 50/50, of course (he had no intention of mentioning this partnership to his wife, considering she'd insist he double-cross this fire-loving fox in a heartbeat), and possibly 60/40 if Blaze was willing to work with him.

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"Do you enjoy setting things on fire, Blaze? Would you...be willing to make a living off of it?"

The fox's ears perked up. Make a living out of burning things? Was the cat joking? Thus far, throwing beasts onto bonfires and setting their home and hearth ablaze was really just a hobby. Or a drug. However one viewed it. But actually making a career out of it? It shouldn't be too hard.

A wicked grin spread across the black and red fox's snout as he replied, "Sí, señor Felix. I would be willing. Eef price ees right." He deliberately rolled his R's as he spoke slowly, liking where this conversation was headed. "Joo hav place een mind, or joo want look in Moss country for, eh, willing target?"

Oh, the fun they could have! Burning beasts every night and taking their things. Joaquin would be needing a night to recover from all that smoke. That glorious, wonderful, acrid smoke. He would need to replenish his kindling supplies each week at the least. But he was sure the victims would not object to him taking theirs, since they wouldn't have much use for it after he was done with them.

((Yeesh, this guy is crazy.))

[.:Fawn:.]

A wicked grin spread across the black and red fox's snout as he replied, "Sí, señor Felix. I would be willing. Eef price ees right." He deliberately rolled his R's as he spoke slowly, liking where this conversation was headed. "Joo hav place een mind, or joo want look in Moss country for, eh, willing target?"

A peculiar gleam reserved for thieves, rogues and most certainly up-to-no-gooders soon made it's way into the ginger cat's eyes, and he smiled softly at Joaquin. "Here's the thing, Blaze. I'm a thief, and I'm actually a good one -- a lousy cobbler, but a really really good thief. However," Felix didn't want the fox to have to stop and think about this, in case the cat's profession caused him to immediately mistrust him. "I think I could pilfer a lot more off of the wealthy if I had a distraction going, you know, to make sure their eyes are looking at...oh I don't know...a bright, burning flame instead of me stealing their valuables?" Felix winked, his charming, thieving side coming out much earlier than it normally did.
"We could split it 50/50, if you want, but there will have to be a couple of ground rules, Joaquin."

((xD yes, yes he is. Omg. Sorry, short!))

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"Here's the thing, Blaze. I'm a thief, and I'm actually a good one -- a lousy cobbler, but a really really good thief. However," Felix didn't want the fox to have to stop and think about this, in case the cat's profession caused him to immediately mistrust him. "I think I could pilfer a lot more off of the wealthy if I had a distraction going, you know, to make sure their eyes are looking at...oh I don't know...a bright, burning flame instead of me stealing their valuables?"

Joaquin's grin never left his face. He pressed the tips of his fingers together as his large tail swished behind him gleefully. "Joo hav my interest," he prompted, his golden eyes shining with a mad light.

"We could split it 50/50, if you want, but there will have to be a couple of ground rules, Joaquin."

The grin flickered. Ground rules? "Eedehr I burn dehm, or joo find anodehr partner," he stated firmly. "Y I get half, or joo find joorself een flames wiht target, yes?"

((That's alright, mine's short, too. One step at a time!))

[.:Fawn:.]

"Eedehr I burn dehm, or joo find anodehr partner," he stated firmly. "Y I get half, or joo find joorself een flames wiht target, yes?"

Felix blinked, trying to word this in a way the fox would understand.
"You can burn down whatever you like," he said quickly, "but you can't kill anyone. And you get half because you're doing half the work, and partners always split the goods down the middle... But I might be willing to go 60/40, with you getting the bigger share if you're willing to teach me your native language."
The cat's eyes glinted with an intrigued glow, hoping he could manage to get a language teacher out of this as well as a wily-eyed cohort to plunder the utter daylights out of Mossflower with.

Joaquin's obviously psychotic enjoyment out of setting things (and creatures!) on fire was troubling to the gullible, sympathetic Felix, and if he was going to be partnering up with the unfortunate fox then that was the rule he definitely wasn't budging on. He might allow Joaquin to completely burn down the target's home, but only so long as he left the inhabits alone. Felix couldn't bear to have the death of another beast on his conscience...and he didn't like the idea of Joaquin killing just because he could.
That's what vermin did, and 'vermin' hadn't been the first word that came to mind when he saw Blaze again after all these years.

It had been friend.

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"You can burn down whatever you like," he said quickly, "but you can't kill anyone. And you get half because you're doing half the work, and partners always split the goods down the middle... But I might be willing to go 60/40, with you getting the bigger share if you're willing to teach me your native language."

Joaquin dropped one ear back. What was the fun of burning things if he couldn't burn creatures, also? This cat clearly didn't know the rules of the game. If you have control over fire, you use it, no matter what or who you hurt in the process. Besides, the bonfires were the fox's drug. And he couldn't just let all those blasted mice run around free, now, could he?

"Joo hav good heart, gato," Joaquin said finally. "Y I undehrstan' why joo want keep target alive. But I yav . . . eh, anger at mice, yes? I do no' like mice. Joo let me burn mice once, eh, once a week, y I teach joo my tongue."

Obviously, the young feline didn't want innocent blood on his paws. To Joaquin, however, there was no such thing as an innocent mouse, at the very least. If he could get Felix to allow him to burn at least one mouse per week, the fox would let the cat split the spoils down the middle and disregard the larger share deal.

((Wow, Joaquin's bad side is really coming out in this thread. I'm kinda scared and also a little excited at the same time. XD Crazy characters are fun.))

[.:Fawn:.]

"Joo hav good heart, gato," Joaquin said finally. "Y I undehrstan' why joo want keep target alive. But I yav . . . eh, anger at mice, yes? I do no' like mice. Joo let me burn mice once, eh, once a week, y I teach joo my tongue."

Felix looked uncomfortable at the fox's preposition, but he was honestly considering it. Well...if I only let him burn the bad, horrible mice who probably deserve it...I suppose that wouldn't be too terrible an ordeal. The cat's tufted ears flicked from side to side, as though he were taking in the sounds around him, but this was merely a sign of the feline going through a thinking process. But what if those horrible mice had families to go back to? I'd be letting him orphan mousebabes and widow spouses... Obviously this fox had a serious grudge against all of mouse kind, and Felix had the sinking feeling that Joaquin would continue to burn mice -- good or bad -- whether Felix told him to or not.
Swallowing hard, Felix regained his composure, and stuck out his paw.
"One mouse a week? Well...only if it's the bad ones, Blaze. Then you have yourself a deal, sir."
Though he wore a smile, the expert thief couldn't help but wonder if he was making a very grave error by trusting this fox to keep his word.
Oh by the gods, don't let me regret this!

If Blaze didn't keep his word, what exactly could Felix do about it? Split before giving Joaquin his share of the loot? But then the mad fox would surely come after him.
An image of the whole forest being burned down by Joaquin's mad hunt for the cat that had double-crossed him flashed before Felix's eyes, and he bit back a grimace.
Death by fire didn't seem like such a pleasant way to go...

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Swallowing hard, Felix regained his composure, and stuck out his paw. "One mouse a week? Well...only if it's the bad ones, Blaze. Then you have yourself a deal, sir."

Joaquin grinned, taking the proffered paw and shaking heartily. He then pulled Felix in and draped an arm around the cat as if they were already close friends. "So, how joo t'ink dis to work, eh?" the fox asked, swishing his bushy tail back and forth. "We burn a house, take loot, y dehn I teach joo my tongue?"

Clearly, he was ready to get started. Pulling out a match, he began to twirl it expertly between his fingers. He struck it against his pearly white teeth, and a bright, tiny flame leapt up. He then proceeded to twirl the match some more, a simple trick he did when thinking or bored.

((Meh, short.))

[.:Fawn:.]

Joaquin grinned, taking the proffered paw and shaking heartily. He then pulled Felix in and draped an arm around the cat as if they were already close friends. "So, how joo t'ink dis to work, eh?" the fox asked, swishing his bushy tail back and forth. "We burn a house, take loot, y dehn I teach joo my tongue?"

The feline nodded, smiling foolishly as the fox was suddenly quite chummy with him. "Something along those lines, yes. You set something on fire, I rob them blind, and then you can teach me your native tongue while we stuff our faces full of food and good drink." The cat chuckled, suddenly excited -- sure, Joaquin was a little bloodthirsty, but he definitely had good reason to be... And Felix had a feeling that if he only picked targets whose inhabitants deserved to be burned...that wouldn't scar his conscience too much, would it?
"I have a target in mind already," explained Felix, the Saubeterre family immediately coming to mind. "There's a self-proclaimed feudal lord living in the eastern side of Mossflower -- he's as nasty as he is rich, and bullies the local farmers into giving him their crops in exchange for protection." Casting weary eyes upon Joaquin, he was hoping the pyromaniacal fox wouldn't mind a bit of...trouble for their first job.
"Normally I wouldn't dare try and steal from him, simply because of the number of guards he has, but with you here..." Felix did not have the urge to let Blaze know he was allergic to mice -- the feline had a suspicion that the accent-carrying fox would laugh at him. "oh, and most of the guards there are mice, and Lord Saubeterre is also a mouse."

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"I have a target in mind already," explained Felix, the Saubeterre family immediately coming to mind. "There's a self-proclaimed feudal lord living in the eastern side of Mossflower -- he's as nasty as he is rich, and bullies the local farmers into giving him their crops in exchange for protection."

Joaquin flicked the match into the air and caught it by the flaming head, pinching out the minuscule blaze with his paw pads. He loved the idea already. Nothing like dethroning a high-and-mighty overlord with a nice big bonfire. The fox kept silent to allow Felix to continue.

"Normally I wouldn't dare try and steal from him, simply because of the number of guards he has, but with you here..." [. . .] "oh, and most of the guards there are mice, and Lord Saubeterre is also a mouse."

Joaquin could not hold back his excited laughter. All of them were mice? Oh, this was just too perfect! Why hadn't he heard of this place before? Wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, the fox eagerly replied, "Ah, joo pick beun objectivo, gato. We steal from dis mouse, y I teach joo some of my tongue. ¡Muy bien!"