Songs by Southpaw Varilde

[Stryker]

You guys liked his rhyme so much, that I think I'll start a little series of poems/ballads/songs composed by Southpaw, lol.

Enjoy!

The Ballad of the Brigadier

Oh the Brigadier's a funny chap,
Wily as a fox,
but the funniest thing of all, y'see,
He never wears his socks!

Oh the Brigadier's a brave old lad,
Sends vermin straight to Hell,
He didn't need to touch 'em,
'cause he killed 'em with the smell!

Oh the Brigadier's a famished chap,
So to the Mess he went,
He had to eat his meal outside,
Lest the food ferment!

Oh the Brigadier's a charming gent,
Especially to the gels,
Up until they smell his scent
And keel over in a spell!

Oh the Brigadier's a stern old chap,
And he can take a punch,
But the poor ol' Captain can't,
when he's lost his lunch!

Oh the Brigadier's the peaceful type,
Wouldn't hurt a lamb,
But when we told him his feet were ripe,
He didn't give a damn!

Oh the Brigadier wears ear plugs,
When the barracks start to weep,
because the dear old Brigadier
won't wear his socks to sleep!

The cooks have started crying,
The cadets are all in tears,
The major wasn't lying
when he said it'd go on for years!

Oh the Brigadier's got a stubborn streak,
Right down to his bones.
It's bad enough the barracks reek,
So does everything he owns!

The flowers have all wilted,
the halls are smelling rank.
There really nothing we can do,
to getting rid of the stank!

Oh the Brigadier's a duffer,
He doesn't seem to care,
while the entire army suffers,
because he's fouled the air.

Until one fine morning,
The grounds all bright with snow,
The soldiers cried tears of joy,
At the ending of their woe!

Oh the Brigadier'd gone for a walk,
Such a marvelous sight to behold!
For the Brigadier had worn his socks!
Because his feet got cold.

[Tracy]

Fawn, this is amazing. Haha. Love it.

[.:Fawn:.]

Heehee, thanks Tracy! It was a lot of fun to write.

[nikki]

Haha! AWESOME. XD I loved his little song in the Maid thread, and this is amazing too. Looking forward to more!

[Stryker]

Bloomin' cads! Can't handle a grand old bit of poetry to save their wretched lives! What's brought about my flippin' foul mood, you wonder? Brigadier Thymes! The old chap must've been upset about the ballad I wrote about him (which every word was true, by the way. Don't let anybeast tell you otherwise!), because he's forbidden me to write the rest of this one! It was in the spirit of Yuletide cheer! Alright, so it doesn't mention snow or holly or even anything remotely similar to the season, but I still think it's a good one!

Here, read it for yourself.

O Come All Ye Hateful
Stubborn and Pestilent,
O come ye, O come ye to Salamandastron.
Come and behold Us,
Born the Sons of Slaughter.
Oh come, let us destroy thee
Oh come, let us destroy thee
Oh come, let us destroy thee
Vermin so Bad.

Oh Scream, Hordes of Vermin
Scream in Consternation,
Oh scream all ye Residents of Hellgates Below

That's where it stops, unfortunately – but you do see what I mean, right? The flippin' bounder was WRONG to outlaw my unique talents! He just couldn't handle the incredible, intensity of poetry in musical form, wot wot?

Gotta go, Miss Roseleaf is harpin' about me using my arm again. It's not my bloody fault I'm left-pawed!

Seasons Greetings,
Southpaw “Bloodfire” Varilde