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Post by jaredsandeye on Dec 27, 2009 22:29:07 GMT -5
Name: Adam Corbeau
Gender: Male
Age: 15
Species: Squirrel
Occupation: Warrior
Physical Appearance: Tall and thin. His fur is a light brown, and he wears a leather shirt and pants. There is a quiver on his back for his arrows.
Possessions: two iron swords, an oak bow, and an iron dagger
Personality: He is a loner. He doesn't work with other creatures and prefers to work alone. He speaks only when necessary. But if anybeast is in trouble, he'll go help them. As gruff as he is, Adam has a soft spot and is sometimes cheerful.
Strengths: He is a sword and bow expert. He knows how to track creatures by following their scent and their pawsteps. Adam can also cook.
Weaknesses: Adam cannot swim, and he hates it. His gruff personality doesn't get him friends, but he's OK with it.
History: Adam comes from Mossflower. He was the only child of abusive parents who hated him. He trained himself as a warrior in secret, but one day he was caught and his parents banished him. No wonder he's a loner. Adam now lives in a small home in Mossflower. His parents died long ago, but he didn't care. He practices with his sword and bow every day, and secretly, he longs for a better home.
Relationships: Father: David Corbeau Mother: May Corbeau
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Glavon
Initiate
We humans fear the beast within the wolf because we do not understand the beast within ourselves.
Posts: 122
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Post by Glavon on Dec 31, 2009 8:43:28 GMT -5
You need one more sentence on History for a total amount of 8.
Your strengths outweigh your weaknesses by more than one-if I count the sword and bow expert thing seperately. Add another weakness or remove a strength, please.
You need at least six sentences on appearence-you only have three. You can add something about his scars or tattoos, describe his weapons, etc.
One more sentence on personality as well.
Then it'll be good. ^^
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