Post by Elizabeth on Nov 12, 2009 12:24:03 GMT -5
umm okayy... hehheh... I'm guna put this up here... Honestly it's nothing so far but I want comments from you guys. It's just the beginning of a story. I have the plot layed out in my head but it won't make sense to you people, so don't worry when you find yourself re-reading it to see if you missed anything.----
A crash, a rumble, branches parted, vines snapped, twigs broke under strain. A horde of tramping feet sounded. Terrifying, like the beat of a heart, or the monotones maddening throb of a distant drum. Yet unlike that, and so much faster, and it was coming nearer, ever nearer. There was panic, panic in the shadows, and panic in the very air he breathed. Panic so strong it urged him to leap. With a thundering crash, and a mind numbing roar he broke free of the jungle and into stunning daylight. No time to wonder about his surroundings. He would leap. With one swift movement and a sickening thought he leapt. Running from danger to death. Was he mad? Or was there a film of logic under thousands of thick stifling layers of peril? Emptiness, well… that’s all there is now. Yes… what seems like hours of twisted emptiness. The fall, this is only the fall. So… I’m not dead yet. Or am I? Then impact. Is there return from such impact as that? Then impact, and he knew no more.
Sun shone on a fall. A grand waterfall, sparkling and spectacular. Well, if sparkling and spectacular could ever describe such magnificence as that. As it was, if you came to that area, at that time period, in that same world, you could not even try to focus your eyes on anything but the fall. It beat in front of you onto huge boulders that shone in the sunlight as if they had been polish and varnished. The water was shimmering, and crystal clear, and it looked so super-human that you might think it had appeared out of fairy-tale.
(It needs work I know)
Wow I see the part where I mixed you up... I never thought of it that way!
thanks! I'll try to fix it!
A crash, a rumble, branches parted, vines snapped, twigs broke under strain. A horde of tramping feet sounded. Terrifying, like the beat of a heart, or the monotones maddening throb of a distant drum. Yet unlike that, and so much faster, and it was coming nearer, ever nearer. There was panic, panic in the shadows, and panic in the very air he breathed. Panic so strong it urged him to leap. With a thundering crash, and a mind numbing roar he broke free of the jungle and into stunning daylight. No time to wonder about his surroundings. He would leap. With one swift movement and a sickening thought he leapt. Running from danger to death. Was he mad? Or was there a film of logic under thousands of thick stifling layers of peril? Emptiness, well… that’s all there is now. Yes… what seems like hours of twisted emptiness. The fall, this is only the fall. So… I’m not dead yet. Or am I? Then impact. Is there return from such impact as that? Then impact, and he knew no more.
Sun shone on a fall. A grand waterfall, sparkling and spectacular. Well, if sparkling and spectacular could ever describe such magnificence as that. As it was, if you came to that area, at that time period, in that same world, you could not even try to focus your eyes on anything but the fall. It beat in front of you onto huge boulders that shone in the sunlight as if they had been polish and varnished. The water was shimmering, and crystal clear, and it looked so super-human that you might think it had appeared out of fairy-tale.
(It needs work I know)
Wow I see the part where I mixed you up... I never thought of it that way!
thanks! I'll try to fix it!