Nightfire

[Nightfire]

Name: Nightfire
Gender: Female
Age: 26 seasons
Species: Squirrel
Occupation: Mercenary Squirrelqueen from the Northern Border

Physical Appearance: Very tall and muscular, and she's jet black from tip to tail. Two thin white streaks of fur go across her upper left arm, giving the appearance of scars from a distance. She has shining emerald green eyes and wears a dark red velvet cloak over an adderksin vest. She also wears a belt and gauntlets made from adderskin.

Possessions: She has a large yew longbow with a quiver of spear-like arrows flighted with eagle feathers, and she has a silver, black bound dirk tucked horizontally into her belt. A small bamboo blowpipe with poisoned darts is concealed underneath her left gauntlet. (it's adder poison ) She also has a small adderskin bag strapped to her belt to carry rations and water.

Personality: She's very quiet, and when she speaks her voice rarely goes above a whisper because she rarely is in a setting that allows her to be noisier. Usually, she and her band are on the move across the northern territories; just wandering to see what they may find. In battle, she's fierce and deadly, and knows many battle moves and tecniques. She has a good sense of humor, and will allow herself to be dragged into a game by the dibbuns of her band. She is a great leader, and would willingly die for her squirrel warriors. She has a northern accent, but it's not as broad as a highlander's.

Strengths: She's many times stronger than most squirrels. She has very keen senses and she's incredibly fast.

Weaknesses: She can't swim, and due to her large size, she can get stuck in small spaces very easily.

History: She was born is the Northlands, and all of her family was killed by a vicious wearat when she was an infant. She was taken in and raised by a lone hermit squirrel called Ash, and after she parted ways with him, she headed off on her own. She started to wander about the lands that were her home in search of the evil one who had killed her family, and she slowly gathered a large band of squirrels about her to aid in her quest. They soon elected her as Squirrelqueen over them because of her wisdom and intelligence, and they willingly marched with her to the sunny climates of the south in search of the evil wearat. As they marched, they were attacked by five adders, and after the band of squirrels had killed the snakes, then Nightfire put the skin to good use. Having clothing made from adderskin also served to enhance her reputation as a skilled fighter, because she had been the one to kill two of those snakes.

Relationships: Looks upon one squirrel in her band as her little sister. This squirrel is called Araiah, and she has honey-coloured fur with reddish-furred paws.

Other: She likes to sing, and has a strong, alto voice that can carry quite far if she wants it to. She also has the Bloodwrath, and the sight of vermin will generally make her very angry, though she can restrain it quite well, thanks to Ash putting her through rigorous training. She considers herself to be neutral, but because of her hatred for vermin, most creatures regard her as a goodbeast.

[Prankster101]

Hello Nightfire!

Welcome to LoRA! We are glad to have you here!

Before I critique your bio, I should inform you that LoRA already has a Squirrel Queen. She is listed under the positions in the encyclopedia. Link Here

If you still wish to make your squirrel, but not the Squirrel Queen, you may and we shall go forward form there. If you wish to have a different position, then you can send in an application to a Moderator or Admin such as myself and we will see if you meet the qualifications.

Sorry about that, but welcome anyways. I hope you enjoy your time here at LoRA!

Prankster101

_{(Posted while still a staff member of this site)}

[Nightfire]

But I'm not Redwall's Squirrelqueen. So Redwall may already have a queen, but it's not like I'm usurping her or anything. I'm queen of a completely seperate band o' squirrels. I'm actually a neutral character. I'm neither Redwaller nor villian.

[Prankster101]

Hello Nightfire

So your squirrel queen is of a different tribe? Because Ambrr, our Squirrel Queen is not really associated with Redwall. She is the Squirrel Queen of Mossflower.

Also, your bio has not been approved yet and normally in LoRA we do not post with your character unless you have been approved, which your bio has not yet been approved.

So if your character is the squirrel queen of a separate tribe then the tribe of Mossflower, I need you to specify. Also I would like to see this bio flushed out a bit more in all areas. Get into detail about what she looks like. Give us detail about her possessions. Really tell us who she is in the personality with much more detail. Tell me why her strengths are her strengths and her weaknesses are her weakness. Tell me more about her history. What happened to her? Why is she a squirrel queen at 14? That seems very young. I need more detail.

I'm sorry if I am being very meticulous, but that is they way we do things here. We want you to be able to preform at your best.

Hope you are having a great day.

Prankster101


_{(Posted while still a staff member of this site)}

[Nightfire]

My Squirrelqueen's tribe is from far north. Up where Rakkety Tam and Doogy originated from, actually. I'll try to flush out my profile a little better.

There. Is that better? And making people wait for who knows how long before they can post is kind of a weird thing to do. Are the people in waiting expected to just sit and glumly watch the others have fun while they're waiting? The Official Redwall Forum on the official website doesn't make you do that. Just so you know. I'll wait, but I'll be waiting impatiently.

[Prankster101]

Hello Nightfire

If she's from the North, then I suppose that is all right, but could you specify that in her occupation so others will not be confused?

Also, could you continue to flush out the profile, especially the comments I made in my previous post? The edits you have made are good, but I would like to see a bit more. It doesn't have to be a lot, just those things I touched on above.

I apologize if you don't like our system of approval, but we do it for a reason. If everyone simply posted a profile without approval then we would have millions of characters wandering around that were only split second thoughts and that have no really plot or filling to them. They could be here one minute and gone the next also, a well looked through profile helps the other members know who the are playing with. The process normally doesn't take very long. Until then, if you wish, we have a game board under the general board that you can use if you wish.

My apologies for the inconvenience and thank you for your cooperation in this process.

Prankster101



_{(Posted while still a staff member of this site)}

[Nightfire]

Is that better? It's all that I can put on there really. I don't see how I can flush it out better that that. How long does it usually take to be approved?

[Sigurd]

Can I just mention something that was bugging me. The fact that that she can "control" the Bloodwrath. In the books only two creatures had any control over the Bloodwrath. Brocktree and Gorath the Flame. Brocktree could hold it back long enough to talk and take in his surroundings, but would still shake from it. Gorath the Flame had the best control over, taught how to harness it by the Tabura.

I'm sorry, but I personally find it unrealistic that a squirrel, or any other beast besides a wise badger, would have any control over the Bloodwrath. It would take years, most likely, of rigorous training, and all in all, its kind of Mary-Sueing it. Being able to control an unstoppable power.

[Nightfire]

She actually more of 'restrains' herself against it rather than completely controls. But she did go through rigorous training, and was taught by Ash, the old squirrel who took her in. So it's very close to complete control. I'll make that edit right now. And who says squirrels are not every bit as wise and strong-minded as badgers? I don't see why badgers get so much special treatment. It's not like they're the supreme creatures in Redwall. It's the mice, otters and squirrels who usually save the day.

[Prankster101]

Hello Nightfire

I apologize if I am being a bother, but your profile is looking better! Something that might help is if you could take your categories and make the sentences in them complete sentences (grammatically), that might help.

I again apologize for the wait and thank you for your patience.

Prankster101


_{(Posted while still a staff member of this site)}

[Nightfire]

Is that better?
By the way, just out of curiosity, do you like my signature? Yours is really good. I like it.

[Sigurd]

Nt sto sound rude, but rather to reply to what you said, yes, woodlanders tend to save the day, but they usually aren't as wise as badgers, because a middle-aged badger has already lived through two generations, or more. That means they have more time to take in all the knowledge.

It still bugs me somewhat, as it would most likely take many years of training, and I'm not talking about two or three, but maybe even ten years. If she was taught by Ash, I figure he adopted her around two to four years of age. I feel like no beast would show things as Bloodwrath, at that age, and, another question which popped in my mind, when was she first shown to have Bloodwrath? Most creatures are young adults to late adult years, when fighting in a dangerous battle, or a loved one is harmed. Most non-badgers only experience Bloodwrath once, Martin the Warrior a great example of this, though the two big times he experienced this was when Rose died, and he battle Tsarmina.

Also, at the age fourteen? I'd find it a more realistic age to 'control' to some extent at ages like late-thirties to the end. I doubt that any non-badger would have any great control over. As I said once again, their massive lifespans help this.

Just replying to her post, and telling about the realism about Bloodwrath and control over it.

[Nightfire]

Her first experience with the Bloodwrath was when she was two seasons old. She was extremely angry and saddened at the sudden deaths of her family, and she lashed out the only way she could. Since then, she had grown enraged and bloodwrath-y every time she sees vermin. And don't you dare tell me that she didn't have higher brain functions or something. She may have been young, but she was old enough to realize what was happening. I know that I personally, have vivid memories of when I was two. And badgers are not the wisest. Just as the size of one's brain is no measure of it's capacity, age has nothing to do with wisdom. So please, desist arguing with me about it. I am VERY stubborn and logical if you rub me the wrong way. So don't.

[Tracy]

Okay guys, calm down. No one needs to get upset about anything. Sigurd, please don't reply in this thread anymore. Nightfire, please don't get upset about constructive criticism. That's what profiles are for.

In any case, we've had many discussions on this site about the appropriateness of different ages in different positions and I WILL tell you that a 14 year old squirrelqueen won't pass muster here. Regardless of your personal feelings on the matter, we've got certain expectations here, and we want to avoid having children as group leaders.

[Nightfire]

Well, then I'll change her age. That is my real age, but she is a fictional character, so it doesn't matter what age I post her as. And I honestly don't mind constructive criticism. But I've had a bad day, and I'm in an irritable mood. I'm not usually so easily angered. I though that checking up on this site and my character application would help make my day brighter, but apparently not. How long does it usually take to get your character approved? I really want to start RP-ing.

[Nightfire]

How long does it usually take for a profile to get approved??? That one guy, Cross, got his approved almost instantly, but Prankster, you seem to have completely forgotten I'm here! I've been waiting for like, a month, to get approved!

[Prankster101]

Hello Nightfire

I apologize for the wait Nightfire. We wish for the profiles of our members to be to the best of their ability and provide the best assistance to the other members RPing with that character. Sometimes it means a bit of critiquing, in other cases, not as much. Each case is different. Such as in the case with Cross(Django). I know that she has had much experience in writing profiles and that she spent quite a bit of time on her profiles and checking to make sure that they fit to our standards. You will noticed that I did critique her profile, and she did edit them.

I however know that each member is different and will not compare one profile to the other. I have seen long profiles that were nothing but gibberish and needed serious work, while I have seen shorter profiles that met the standards we require. I have not forgotten you are here. Tracy, who is a trusted Moderator, has the authority to critique profiles. I have left your profile in her hands in which I know it will do well. Once she sees it acceptable, I will approve of it. Also, I will be gone these next few days, so I will not be able to do anything until my return. I apologize.

It also has been brought to my attention by another trusted Moderator that your personality could be flushed out a tad bit more and I agree. We would really like to know who we are RPing with. I'm sorry if this is causing you to be upset, we are only trying to help you. If you wish, you could check out some of the accepted profiles and find differences between those and yours for inspiration if you so choose, but direct copying will not be allow, for that is plagiarism.

I again apologize for your wait (less then 2 weeks, nay a month) and if we have upset you. We only wish to help you.

Thank you for your patience,

Prankster101


_{(Posted while still a staff member of this site)}

[Nightfire]

Okay then. What do you mean by "know who we are RP-ing with."? Do you want to know who I am in real life or something? I'm sorry for blowing up earlier at Sigurd. I was just really tired and not thinking clearly. I'll try to flush it out, but I don't see what needs expanding. Could you clarify on what needs flushing out, please? Just so I know what exactly needs to be improved.

[King Benon]

Nightfire, when they say "who we are RPing with" they mean the character. I myself will read a character's profile when I jump into a thread with them just to... acclimate myself (and my character's self) to what they might do to give the fullest, richest experience to both parties involved.

Personally: I'd expand the sense of humor, you said it was "good". Give an example (OR TWO) of something she'd find funny/comical/would do to get her jollies. Perhaps flush out why she never smiles (sensitive about crooked teeth, just doesn't like how it looks, etc.) or why she doesn't speak but only more than a whisper. Details usually don't hurt.

I particularly like the physical description. Always a fan of the jet black, and a huge longbow freak...

Hang in there, getting the approval is like a sheet cake made of victory.

Hope this is okay/helpful

[Nightfire]

Thanks for the advice! Hmm. I never though about that, that people would actually want to know why she speaks quietly and never smiles. Thank you for your compliment on what she looks like. I was always a HUGE fan of Ranguvar Foeseeker since I first read the Redwall series, so I wanted to model a character after her. Thanks again for the advice.